Why do you defend something or someone?

I have this love,love, love, fight relationship with my mom. I truly love her. But I often wonder does she love me as much. I mean I know she loves me yet I get this nagging feeling somewhere where my mind does not like to go but it goes too often. We argue all the time, she says it is because we are alike and at the same time she tells me that I am nothing like her. She contradicts her own words from day to day depending on how it will effect her.

But I think my fear of her no love comes from her not defending me.When we are anywhere in public and someone says something about me, she just agrees with them. Yet if she so much as think I am making fun of my sister she quickly defends her. Keep in mind I said if she so much as think I am, I tell you it is mindbogglingly. My sister keeps her car through out the week, and I am the one that takes her to all her appointments. She will complain about me while I drive her to her appointments.

I have mentioned this to her and she just blows it off and then she accuses me of being mean to her all the time. When I mention this to my sister who drives her car everyday, she admits that she notices it. In fact my other two sisters have notice this. My youngest sister (I have 3 sisters and many half sisters) says she hates that mom defends her too. She acknowledges that my mom defends her and my oldest sister. To hell with the middle two(that includes me).

To my surprise my youngest sister was upset that our mom would defend her becasue she took it as a sign of weakness. So my question to you is: Does defending someone makes them look weak are does it show love?

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