God are you really there?

God forgive me if I question your presence but so much hate and deception is in this world. I do not understand how a loathsome man that beats his wife can win the lottery only a few days after a bitter divorce. I do not grasp how a stranger dies saving a baby life.Nor do I comprehend how a man that has lived his life full of chaos, bigotry,violence, racism and fraud became the President of the United States.

According to the bible Galatians 6:7 Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. So what happens when a man sows hate and division pretending to use your name. As I have seen many people,kings, politicians, and presidents included,quote bible verses as they lock children in cages, beat women, and shackle down slaves.

So many bad things have been done God in your name. Yet so many of these people rise, and rise. I question why do I keep trying. I wonder am I really a good person. There is something in me that gets angry when I see an evil person rise. Sometimes it is like the good have no place in this world,for so many are rewarded for their bad behavior.

I know,I know Matthews 5:45 For He maketh His sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust. God why is that so. I understand, I do, it just does not make me feel good.

I pray, I do. I pray, I pray, I pray. And I watch as the person that did me the most wrong get blessed. I want to be happy for his blessing, but deep down I do not feel like he deserves them. Not that I am a good nor great person. But I don’t say that I try with only my mouth. I try to live right.

Can someone explain to me please, how a good people fall and the bad rise. God I am sorry if I do not understand. I know I am suppose to lean not to my own understanding. And I know you are there yet sometimes your voice needs to be more than just a whisper. Perhaps I am not one of your sheep for I do not know your voice. If that’s the case, help me to hear your voice.

Thanks for reading,I am ranting, but I needed to get this off of my chest. Can any of you relate?

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