Does society value women?

I will probably make a lot of people mad and you know what I don’t care. I need to tell my truth. I was once in the military and while I was serving I was injured. It was a hip injury. While I sustained other injuries while in the military this one would come back and haunt me.

I’ve mentioned in past blogs how I was sometimes treated as a female in the military always having to prove I belonged there. It is really a small difference working in the civilian world. Society does not tell you, that they hate for a woman to become pregnant if she works. They don’t tell you, how a woman will wait to the very last minute to tell her employer that she is pregnant because she knows there is a strong chance she might not get the raise,or the promotion, or perhaps even get hired.

What they tell you is,you must have this baby. Because in societies mind only promiscuous women get pregnant and need an abortion. That is far from the truth. As I mentioned before I was once in the military (security forces) and I sustained a hip injury. Fast forward 10 years and for the first time ever I am pregnant. I am excited. But that excitement did not last. Despite having a degree and military experience I could not find a great job, but I did have a job as a cashier at a warehouse.

We were required to lift heavy bulky items, there were no exceptions if you where pregnant. The problems first started when I was about 3 months pregnant and my body started really changing to accommodate the baby. The change created so much pain in my hip I could not stand longer than 10 minutes at a time. I was forced on bed rest for the remainder of my pregnancy. My hospital filed the wrong codes therefore the insurance company did not want to pay the hospital. This in turn made my Dr not want to fill out my paperwork so I could get short term disability at work.

This went on for about 4 months. I was spending all my savings. I’m stressing out which I don’t need to do because I am already high risk pregnancy . Even after explaining what happened it took another month to finally “fix” the error. I never wanted to go through that again. Once my baby came I immediately had a tubal ligation which failed 3 years later. And no my insurance company did not want to cover the pregnancy because they were aware that I had had a tubal ligation and they thought this was some form of insurance fraud. Yes I did have that baby. I was placed on bed rest with her as well. And yes if you are wondering I do love my little girl. The point of my story is this. All forms of birth control does not work. I had to jump through hoops when it came to my insurance when it came to me getting a tubal ligation. You see it is considered an elective surgery. I did not know that at the time.

I still do not work now. My hip did not go back to the way it was. If I sit the wrong way, lay the wrong way, stand up to long, I will not be able to walk for a while and if I do the pain is unbearable. But that is neither here nor there. The point of my story is for those people that like to look down on women who accidentally get pregnant. I’m just here to say, It can happen. That does not mean she is promiscuous. And that society treats pregnant women different and not in a good way.

One other quick thing. Most women know of a man that was promoted despite him deserving it simply because he is a man. Its funny how if a man’s wife haves a baby he ask for a raise to take care of his family. He is often given this raise to take care of his family. While on the other hand a women is overlooked, and underpaid because she is now a mother.

Ok I am through with my rambling.

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Rain on me

Rain on me, cleanse me,I need to be baptized,I need to be forgiven

I need God to hear my cries, ,judge me not,and take me up to heaven

But not today,nor tomorrow

I want to see the world when there is not hate or sorrow

Rain on me,drown my salty tears with pure water sprinkled from an angle

Let it flow on every hurt raging soul, so their lives will not be so painful

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Angel

Close your eyes

take a deep breath

listen

can you feel me

I’m here

inhale the air

feel the sun on your face

whispher

I can hear you

I’m here

It’s okay

calm down

breath

I’m here

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On this day

On this day I give thanks to a man who gave his all

He carried his heavy cross sometimes he stumbled but never fall

Knowing he would die,he still came forward and had mercy for us

We are selfish,hateful,spiteful,yet He did not want us cursed

He was crucified, buried, three days later He rose to come back to Bless us

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Feeling the darkness

There’s a darkness I feel

yelling, clawing, pulling from down deep in my toes

It wants to come out, it

wants to take control

I want to scream, I want to cry

Please God, Please God

Don’t let this evil in me take hold

I need to fight this shadow

because I know that there is light

Maybe not in me now

But this bad feeling, I know need to fight

I can’t let it win

I’ve got to be strong

God help,God help

help me to move on

If I can believe for a moment

just a moment that everything will be okay

I can find the strength

inside me to make another day

Then I remember this quote

This too shall pass

I smile knowing without a doubt

It’s true,and the darkness has passed

Thanks for reading my blog. Remember never give up. Tomorrow is a new day. You are not alone. Many have felt like you do.

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